Effective teachers are caring teachers. That’s why “Student Care” is among the top valueshttps://www.brightmontacademy.com/about-us/mission-history  of Brightmont Academy, a one-to-one private school serving students of all backgrounds, including those with learning differences. But what does it really mean to care for someone? Consider the following acronym in relating to the students you know—or anyone, for that matter. 

C = Customized

I remember being at a costume carnival with my daughter and husband some years ago. Upon arrival, we ran into a woman I knew from work. After I introduced her to my family, she was quick to chime, “Barb is one of my very favorite people!” Well, how about that?! I was charmed. I was proud. What a wonderful compliment! 

As the evening progressed, we found ourselves in line for a game just a few steps away from the woman we spoke to earlier. She was in a conversation with another couple, her back turned toward us. Despite the persistent pleas of my daughter and the noisy din of the room, I couldn’t help but overhear something very familiar. “Your wife is one of my very favorite people!” proclaimed my co-worker to the other family.  

Well, how about that ?! I was crushed. I was annoyed. What an empty compliment!  

I can only imagine that my co-worker had chosen a nice line and decided to use it ad nauseam. Perhaps she thought she was being really kind in lavishing such flattering words upon some of us. However, upon my discovery of the possible gimmick, her words felt quite the opposite of genuine care. 

That’s why real care is customized. Caring people notice the unique traits and contributions of others, then their comments follow suit.  

A = Attentive

There was a time when my job was to help plan and staff big corporate events. At the beginning of these events, I would often be stationed at a main door, the elevator, or any other point of entry where people could use some direction or an extra hand. In a word, my role was to be attentive. 

My former boss probably said it best when it comes to showing care through attentiveness: “See a need, meet a need.” In other words, a person who cares will try to  respond before help is requested. This doesn’t mean they don’t ask permission, check to make sure they understand an apparent need, etc. However, what it does mean is they are outward-focused, supporting others by letting them know they’re not alone.  

R = Respectful 

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” 

Who knows how many times this question is asked of the kids we know. It’s our default, probably the equivalent of weather talk in adult circles. But if we ask the question no matter how trite, we also need to respect the answer. 

When she was a little girl, my niece wanted to be a roller-skating waitress and a lawyer. My 10-year-old daughter currently dreams of owning a bakery, being a teacher, and wowing the world with her acting skills. We may snicker at these unusual occupational combos, but our kids’ ideas and goals are no laughing matter. When we respect and support their interests and dreams, they are more likely to take seriously the necessary steps—yes, even the academic steps—to explore and achieve them. 

E = Empathetic 

In the words of Dr. Seuss, “A person’s a person no matter how small.” Complex feelings, heartbreaking disappointments, etc., are known to people of all ages. Though the struggle is real and difficult and sometimes unbearable, this shared plight affords us the opportunity to be empathetic  with others. 

We have bad days, students have bad days. All of us can relate to the exhaustion, insecurities, worries, and the whole host of circumstances that may weigh on us as humans. Sometimes our best support to each other is to offer some slack. But this isn’t to say we should withhold discipline or baby students through every challenge. The key is to call out and lament what’s hard, then bridge to strategies to help them regain their footing. Since we have also “been there,” it’s actually our responsibility and privilege to be voices of encouragement and hope. 

Customized. Attentive. Respectful. Empathetic. This is what care means and how it’s practiced every single day by Brightmont teachers and staff. And it’s well worth it. We have seen firsthand how our genuine care, especially when delivered through the one-to-one educational model for which we’re known, makes a marked difference. It’s not hard to notice how our care helps grow competent, confident—and caring—students.

Barbara Farland is an English & Social Studies instructor at Brightmont Academy in Plymouth, Minn. She holds a master’s degree in Business Communication from the University of St. Thomas and, prior to pursuing a second career in education, worked as an award-winning public relations and communications professional in both the corporate and nonprofit sectors. As a “storyteller by nature and teacher at heart,” Barbara continues to contribute to various anthologies, among other writing projects.